


I've Got Sunshine On a Cloudy Day

by DistractionCake



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Cults, Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-31 10:38:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18589564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DistractionCake/pseuds/DistractionCake
Summary: PREVIEW:"'Toni, I’m not a monster….Am I?'She knows it’s absurd, to try to define the content of her character based on one singular question—And yet."SUMMARY:Betty reflects on who she is and the things she's done as she sends Toni into the belly of the beast.AKA Betty guides Toni through her initiation into The Farm.





	I've Got Sunshine On a Cloudy Day

**Author's Note:**

> hello, hello! hope you are all doing well. a little bit of a different piece from me, but i just couldn't get this out of my head. anyway, i know i'm cutting it close by posting this so late, but i really wanted to have it up before tonight's episode. hope you all enjoy :)
> 
> p.s. i have not abandoned my roadtrip fic – that's still coming. thank you for your patience ❤️

 

* * *

 

 

"Toni, I'm not a monster….Am I?"

She knows it's absurd, to try to define the content of her character based on one singular question—

And yet.  


  
(It comes to her in flashes, in her dreams.

Her nightmares.

The moment it all started to fracture in her mind.  


The hot tub.  
The maple syrup.  


_Apologize for ruining, Polly. Do it, Jason! Say you're sorry for destroying_ _ **me**_ _! Apologize for what you did to_ _ **me**!_  


She still can't quite remember it all.)  
  


She knows it's absurd and yet.

She asks.

Because.

Because Toni tells it like it is. She is self-assured and confident — and honest to a goddamn fault.

But more importantly?

Toni doesn't  _like_  her.

Which means she won't lie to her to make her feel better — there's no coddling or protecting.

There's just... the truth.

"No. You're a daughter who wants her mother back. Just like I want my girlfriend back."

She sees in Toni's eyes the desperation to save Cheryl, the determination that they will succeed.

She hears in her voice nothing but honesty.

.

.

.

It doesn't make Betty feel any better.

 

* * *

 

Betty looks over at the chalkboard in front of her. A piece of chalk in her hand, at the ready.

"You're 100% sure?" she asks.

"Trust me, there uh, wasn't much acting when it came to swallowing my pride and asking Evelyn if I could join," Toni replies with a scoff from behind her, where she's perched on one of the Blue & Gold's desks.

Betty nods and crosses out the words STEP 1: ACCEPTANCE.

"Okay, then. That means we're on to the next part of our plan."

"STEP 2: INDUCTION," Toni reads aloud.

"Yes. Are you sure you're ready for this?" Betty asks as she turns around to face the other girl.

"I'm sure," Toni confirms with a determined nod.

Betty nods back at her, before moving over to her own desk and pulling out her box of detective equipment. "I made some adjustments to the antenna of this to make the signal stronger, which means we can place it under your clothes," she explains as she watches Toni jump off of the desk and walk over to her.

"So, like a real wire."

"Have you ever used one?"

"No," Toni scoffs. "I'm not a narc."

"Right," Betty nods in response. "I've got tape here," she says as Toni nods and pulls off her shirt, allowing Betty to kneel and reach forward to tape the device to her skin.

As she's doing it, Betty notices Toni's Serpent tattoo right on her ribcage.  
  


(It comes to her in flashes.

The memories.

Betty remembers the slight quiver in her voice, the barely held back tears in her eyes–

_I'm a Serpent by blood. You can't take that away from me._ )  
  


"Betty— oh shit," Betty hears and her head snaps up as she sees Jughead standing in the doorway, his hand over his eyes, despite his back being turned to them. "What uh, what's going on?" he asks, his voice slightly higher than usual.

"Relax, Jones. Nothing you haven't seen before," Toni drawls.

It hits Betty quickly, the reminder of how she was once worried about these two, and how now that just seems so...insignificant in comparison to everything that has happened and is happening in her life. And just the absurdity of it all, the absurdity of this moment that they find themselves in now—

Toni shirtless.  
Betty with her hands on her ribs.  
Jughead with a hand over his eyes.

Betty can't help but snort in amusement.

Toni looks over to her, her big brown eyes growing even wider, as if almost shocked at the fact that Betty has a sense of humor, and it's that look that causes her to truly break.

She laughs.

Loudly.

She sees Toni's lips twitch in amusement before she too can't help but join in on the laughter.

"I'll uh, come back later…?" Jughead says without turning around, causing the two of them to laugh even louder as he leaves.

 

* * *

 

"Mr. Evernever," Betty hears Toni say, her surprise clear even through the radio static. "I didn't expect you to be the one to do this."

Betty quickly readjusts herself on her seat, surprised as well that Edgar would be the one to give Toni her interview.

_Does he suspect something?_  Betty quietly wonders.

"My daughter Evelyn told me about how she believed you were initially a detractor to Cheryl's studies here at The Farm. I'm glad to see that's not the case," Betty hears him say.

"Yeah, I just...I just didn't realize how much this all meant to her. And now that I do, I want to be a part of it."

"Cheryl was distraught when she thought the two of you would have to part ways, but seeing your enthusiasm for joining us has brought her immense joy. She's an incredibly valuable member to our community, which is why – to answer your question –  _I_ wanted to be the one to welcome you. We want nothing more than for Cheryl to be happy and with you here now, we  _all_ can be happy," Betty hears him say. She can picture his smarmy smile as he does so. She scoffs.

"Thank you," Toni replies. "I just want her to be happy too."

"Shall we begin?" he asks.

"Yeah, let's."

Betty hears him clear his throat before he starts.

"Tell me, Toni. Have you ever experienced the loss of a loved one?"

"Yeah. Yes."

"Who?"

A beat passes.

"My dad."

"Tell me about him."

Betty tenses. When she had prepped Toni for this moment, Toni hadn't gone into details about what her answers would be. Had only agreed with Betty that to be convincing enough she needed some nugget of the truth mixed in with a few lies to keep her aware.

Betty can't help but start to worry.

"He was the Serpent King. Before some Ghoulie trying to make a name for himself shanked him."

"How old were you when he passed?"

"Six."

"What was he like as a father?"

"The best," Toni replies quietly and Betty swears she can almost picture the soft smile on Toni's face as she does. "He was kind and generous and wanted better for all of us. He taught me...everything. How to brush my teeth, how to tie my shoes, how to do my hair, how to make smores, how to ride a bike..." she trails off.

.

.

.

Lost in her memories.

Betty feels her anxiety growing.

"He was your everything."

"Yeah. I guess he was."

"When he passed, did you find yourself able to grieve?"

"I had to be strong."

A beat passes, before Edgar speaks again.

"I'd like to show you something. Something I think you'll find very...illuminating. If you'll follow me?"

"Sure," Toni replies.

As the two stand and begin to walk, the signal begins to cut out.

"No, no, no," Betty says as she frantically fiddles with the dials on her transmitter. "Not again, I fixed this," she hisses just as the signal cuts out.

"FUCK!"

 

* * *

 

Three hours.

It takes three hours before a text comes through.

_Omw 2 u_

Betty sighs in relief. Cheryl hadn't come to her after.

This must be a good sign.

.

.

.

Right?

The moment Toni walks through the Blue & Gold's doors, Betty can't help but rush over to hug her, overcome with relief at her showing back up.

It's when she notices that the other girl is softly hugging her back that Betty pulls away because,  _well_.

In the right state of mind, she doubts Toni would have reciprocated.

And as she pulls back and locks eyes with Toni, her suspicion is confirmed.

Toni's pupils are dilated.

"You're high right now, aren't you?"

"That...would be correct," Toni replies, speaking even slower than she normally does.

Betty guides her over to a chair and walks over to where the coffee pot is on her desk and pours Toni a cup. She walks back over and hands it to her.

"Please tell me you didn't drive like this," Betty says.

"No," Toni responds after she takes a sip. "I had Peaches pick me up and drop me off here."

"Did you tell her anything?" Betty asks.

"Who?"

"Peaches."

"Tell Peaches what?"

Betty has to pause and take a deep breath before she snaps at her out of frustration.

"Did you tell Peaches anything about what's going on?"

"Oh. No," Toni responds as she takes a longer sip. "She doesn't give a fuck."

"Good," Betty nods. She leans back against one of the desks as she waits for Toni to sober up a bit more.

A beat passes.

_Fuck it_.

"Toni, what happened?"

Toni finishes her cup and reaches over to hand it to her. Betty takes it and sets it on the desk behind her as she waits for Toni to start talking.

"He took me into a room. Sat me in a chair, facing this large…." Toni puts up one finger and moves it slowly from side to side.

"Pendulum," Betty fills in.

"Yeah."

"And then what?"

"He asked me for three different sounds that remind me of my father," Toni pauses. "A crackling bonfire. Laughter. And…." she trails off again as she begins to hum a song.

" _My Girl,_  by the Temptations," Betty softly says as she recognizes it.

" _I guess you'd say, What can make me feel this way? My girl_ ," Toni softly sings, eyes closed.

Betty feels tears begin to form because….This isn't a lie. This isn't a fake answer given to trick Edgar and The Farm. This is….real. Toni is sharing something deeply personal with her, that Betty  _knows_  she otherwise wouldn't have, had she not been out of it. It feels almost invasive, like she's taking advantage of her and yet—

Betty clears her throat, "What happened next?"

"It started to smell sweet. Like candy," Toni replies.

"Fizzle Rocks," Betty guesses, although she knows in her her gut that she's right. "That's how they do it," she nods to herself. "Where was Edgar during all of this?"

Toni shrugs, "Sitting somewhere, but I couldn't see him. Just hear him."

"What was he saying?"

And that's when Toni's demeanor completely changes. She tenses and clenches her jaw, her face growing serious.

"Toni?"

"He was guiding the conversation."

"The conversation?"

Toni merely nods.

"Between you...and your father?" Betty hazards a guess.

"There was an empty seat across from me. And just for a second it was like….like he was...there," Toni replies, her voice cracking.

It's then that Betty notices Toni clenching her hand.

Without even realizing it, Betty is moving forward and crouching in front of Toni. She takes a hold of the other girl's hand and opens it, seeing the dried blood from where Toni was digging in her fingernails into her palm.  
  


(It comes to her in flashes.

That moment.

Sitting in a booth in Pop's Diner.  
Jughead's black eye.  
Her very own confession.  


_Something is very, very wrong with me. There's this darkness in me_   _that's overwhelming sometimes. I don't know where it comes from. I think that's what makes me do these crazy things like…_ )  
  


"Figured pinching myself was a bit cliche," Toni slowly jokes. Betty snaps her head up and looks at her. "Had to stay aware somehow, right?" Toni asks when Betty says nothing.

"Right," Betty responds as she stands.

_If Cheryl were here, she'd kiss that pain away_ , Betty thinks.

_But she's not._

_Because of_ _**me** _ _._

Betty feels the bile rise in her throat.

 

* * *

 

She drives Toni to Thistlehouse, thankful that Cheryl is still out as she pulls into the driveway.

She puts the car in park, but idles a bit before speaking.

"What about now?" Betty asks closing her eyes, as her hands clench on the steering wheel. "Am I a monster now, Toni?"

When no response comes, Betty turns her head and finds the other girl asleep in the passenger seat.  


 

* * *

 

"Are you sure?" Betty asks again as Toni adjusts the listening device hidden in her boot this time.

"Betty, I didn't go through all of that two days ago to back out now."

"You could die, Toni," Betty grimly points out.

"You worried about me?" Toni asks with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. Bringing the conversation back to a less serious tone.

"No," Betty scoffs somewhat playfully. "I'm worried you'll ruin my mission."

Toni laughs and Betty feels proud of herself. She knows it's dumb, but it's not about seeking Toni's approval or validation, but more like...finding common ground.

"We'll save them," Toni says seriously a few minutes later. "I promise."

_Yes, but at what cost?_ Betty worries, as she watches her walk out.

 

* * *

 

She's been listening in for about an hour when it seems it's finally about to start.

"Just wait here with the other novitiate. We will come to get you both soon," a Farmie explains to Toni.

"Okay," Toni responds before Betty hears a door close.

"Toni?"

"Fangs, hey."

"I didn't realize you were getting baptized today too," Betty hears him say.

"Yeah."

"For Cheryl?" he asks.

"Yeah. Are you...doing this because of Midge? Or Kevin?"

"A little, but mostly it's for myself. The Farm gives me a–"

"Sense of community," Toni finishes for him, repeating the phrase that the two of them have heard multiple times over the course of this last hour. Part of The Farm's mission statement.

"Yeah."

Silence engulfs them and Betty begins to get antsy. She starts fiddling with the volume dial and double-checking everything is still working, when Toni's voice comes through again.

"Why are we being so awkward around each other?" Toni asks with a laugh.

Fangs laughs as well before responding, "Right? We've known each other for forever. Why are we acting like we're strangers or something?"

"Things  _have_  been off for a while," she comments.

"That's true."

"Fangs," Toni begins with a sigh. "A few months ago, when everything went down with the Serpents—"

"You don't have to explain," Fangs says softly.

"I was desperate. My entire family's legacy was slipping through my fingers and I swear I  _honestly_  didn't think Jones would—"

"It's okay," Fangs replies. "If I'm honest, I don't think Jones really handled any of that well."

 

(It comes to her in flashes.

That momentary respite.

Betty remembers her and Jughead in her bed. Reunited and briefly hidden away from the rest of world.

_This is my fault. I was gone for too long. I left the Serpents high and dry._ )

 

"Still. I'm so, so sorry."

A beat passes, before Toni continues speaking.

"You know, when Cheryl and I started stealing, it was because  _I_ needed the cash.  _Me_. And I didn't just want to be some kept woman, you know? Plus, we were all going absolutely batshit crazy with that damn quarantine, you remember?" Toni pauses, taking a deep breath. "Next thing I knew, it had grown and gotten out of hand and just…"

"It was a dumb day-old rule anyway," Fangs interjects. "So many things have changed since then. We're...not even a gang anymore."

"That's good though. Jones is getting you guys on the right track."

"Yeah, but at what cost? Who even...are the Serpents anymore?" he asks.

"You are what you need to be to survive," Toni responds.

A beat passes.

"I've missed you," Fangs says.

"I've missed you too."

Another beat passes.

"Also, I'm sorry my girls jumped you the other day—"

Betty hears Fangs groan and Toni laugh.

"Let's  _not_  revisit that, mmmkay?"

"I just wanted to apologize—" Toni starts with a playful tone.

"Please," he scoffs. "All's fair in love and gangwars."

"True," Toni replies with a laugh. "So, we're good?" she then asks genuinely.

"Of course," he replies.

A beat passes.

"So, you wanna tell me about how you almost fucked Sweets the other day?"

"Shut up," Toni says with groan as Fangs begins to laugh.

"I'm just saying, post-breakup blues and you didn't pick me? I'm offended!"

"You suck," she groans again as Fangs continues to laugh.

"Oh my god, do you remember that time, by the quarry—"

"Nope, nope! We are NOT discussing that!" Toni shouts at him, before the two dissolve into giggles.  
  


(It comes to her in flashes.

That turning point.

At the counter in Pop's with Jughead, Mr. Andrews in the hospital, their world changing again—

_Last night, when you put on the Serpent jacket, it meant something._

Betty wonders how a person can be so right and yet so wrong about the same thing.)  
  


It's a few minutes later, when there's a lull in their conversation, that Betty hears Toni speak up again.

"Fangs. I think….I think there's something wrong with The Farm. With how...it does things."

"It's just different than what we're used to."

"But, you don't find anything about this whole thing sketch?"

"Toni, they welcomed me in with open arms. They've been nothing but kind and gracious. Hell, they're even helping pay for my mom's treatments. Don't bite the hand that feeds you," he replies, his tone more forceful than it had been the entire time.

"Fangs—"

Before Toni can say any more, the door to their room opens, and the voice of the same Farmie from before comes through.

"We're ready for you both."

 

* * *

 

There's a shuffle, presumably the sound of Toni taking off her boots, before the sound comes through clearly again.

"Happy Day, Friends," Betty hears Evelyn say.

Betty feels her anxiety begin to rise.

_This is it._

"We are gathered here tonight to celebrate the baptizing of Fangs Fogarty and Antoinette Topaz. Now this is a day of rebirth, of course. And as such, it is important to remember that birth is no easy feat. It is a trauma to leave the comfort of our wombs. We push, tear, and spring forth, crying and gasping for air, for life."

Betty closes her eyes, thinks back to finding her mother, motionless in the tub. Pulling her out and crying out for her to breath.

"Today, Fangs Fogarty and Antoinette Topaz, you will rip off the weight you have carried, you will break through the barriers restraining you, and you will emerge into the light of your destiny."

Betty pictures Fangs and Toni standing in front of their tubs– dressed in all white.

She pictures Kevin and Cheryl getting ready to hold their loved ones under water.

"Are you ready?" Evelyn asks.

_We shouldn't have done this_ , Betty thinks.

"I am."

"I am."

_Oh god, what have I done?_

"Then may the one become many."

"And the many, one."

Betty hears the sound of water sloshing, the quiet engulf the room as soon as it calms.

She feels her heart hammering in her chest so hard it feels like it's about to burst.

"Please, please, please," she begs.

She hears the water begin to thrash, as both of them begin to panic.

And then….

Silence.

"No, no, no," Betty says. "What have I done, what have I done?!"  
  


(It comes to her in flashes.

All those decisions Betty has made.

The ones that have haunted her.

 

Cheryl.

And the blackmail.

_Judge.  
_

 

Nick St. Clair

And giving his name to the Black Hood.

_Jury._

 

Chic

And handing him over to her father.

_Executioner._

 

Each of the roles Betty has played.

_What have I done?_

 

_You're not so innocent, Betty_.)

 

Betty abruptly stands, her headphones harshly disconnecting from the radio, she reaches for her keys and then—

Coughing.

Loud coughing and spluttering.

Betty's head snaps over to the radio.

"You are reborn!" Evelyn's manic announcement comes through the speakers.

"Rise, Fangs Fogarty and Antoinette Topaz! Rise!"

Betty collapses back onto her chair as she hears the Farmies cheer.

 

* * *

 

For a brief moment, Betty tries to think back to the last time she and her friends sounded that excited about anything.

Nothing comes to mind.

 

* * *

 

"Hey."

Betty looks up from her desk and spots Toni standing in the doorway.

It's the next day and after everything that had happened, the two had not been able to speak in person.

"Hey," Betty replies. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm not suddenly converted, if that's what you're wondering," Toni responds as she walks over to stand in front of their chalkboard.

"No," Betty says standing and walking over to her. "That's not what I meant. I mean, how  _are_ you? Really."

Betty stares at Toni's profile, as the girl keeps her eyes resolutely on the board.

Betty sees her swallow.

"My girlfriend was indoctrinated into a cult right under my nose. And last night, I let myself almost get...drowned to try to save her."

A beat passes.

"Do you know what she said to me when we got back to Thistlehouse?"

"No," Betty quietly responds.

" _I'm so proud of you_ ," Toni answers with a scoff. "It's like the fact that she almost… that I almost…" Toni exhales a shaky breath, before shaking her head. "What's next?"

"Toni, if this is too much—"

"I think we're passed that point, don't you think?" Toni interjects, finally turning her head to lock eyes with Betty.

Betty can see the look in her eyes.

The fear, the pain, the grief.

Betty imagines it's not all that dissimilar from the look in her own eyes when her mother had claimed the she had been reborn, that she had seen it all — her purpose, her destiny.

"I'm sorry," Betty whispers. "I'm so sorry."

A stray tear escapes Toni's eyes before she quickly wipes it away.

A beat passes.

Toni reaches for the chalk and harshly crosses out STEP 2. 

"What about now, Toni?" Betty asks, unable to stop herself. "Am I a monster yet?"

Toni just stares at her, before shaking her head and moving to walk out. She pauses by the doorway though, her back to Betty, before she finally answers.

"Aren't we all? In the end?"

"Do you really believe that?"

"We are what we need to be to survive," Toni whispers, as she walks out.

Betty looks over the chalkboard again.

STEP 3: DESTRUCTION


End file.
